英语优秀的进``帮翻译下

Good evening everyone, today finally my turn to speak, I will say here, "interesting English", we all know that English has 26 letters, but you know what? No letter has its different meanings!
A representative for instance ...... back to my own)
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Delay: Because of the time, I can not not have a detailed finish, then let everyone look at themselves, understand there on the line!
Now I speak with you "jokes English"
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The English are used to jokes is wrong, the study shows not imitate life, Thank you for your cooperation !~~~~~

good evening,everyone. it is my turn to make a speech today.i m going to tell you about "funny english".as everyone knows, there are 26 letters in english.but do you know? there is different meaning for each letter. for example, A stands for……